Friday Wisdom – Retirement

Who is happy on a Monday? Retired people

Retirement: Half as much money, twice as much husband.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

Retirement: Living life to the full while trying not to run out of money.

Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.

Why are there so many retired people in Bible study classes? They’re studying for the final.

Time is money, except when you’re retired.

Among retired folks, tied shoes are considered formal wear.

The real problem with retirement is that you don’t get any days off.

Now that I’m retired I force myself out of bed by the crack of noon.

Retirement – when pants are optional.

First sign it’s time to retire: When you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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29 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Retirement

  1. You’ve got some great lines in here! My favorite is ‘it’s weird being the same age as old people.’ Mother used to talk about ‘those old people’ when she was in her 80s. Now I understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Retirement? Some good observations, Andrew, thank you. I think of it as a time of taking longer to achieve less, but I do stick to those lace-up shoes. When I have to re-tie a lace, though, I always think about anything else I can do while I’m down there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nancy Ruegg says:

    These are wonderful, Andrew! Nothing like poking fun at ourselves to bring out the smiles. We’ve been retired for 6 1/2 years. Feels MUCH shorter, except we can’t deny our baby granddaughter (when we first quit working) is now in elementary school!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. siskinbob says:

    Hi Andrew, The following statement from your post resonates with me

    “The real problem with retirement is that you don’t get any days off”

    I’ve been retired for five years now. Boy did that time fly by.

    So, when friends who are still working, get excited about a long weekend due to a Bank Holiday. Why do I feel like I’ve been robbed ? So too, have the Christmas and Easter breaks lost their sparkle. How can to have a holiday when you don’t go to work in the first place. You can’t pull a sicky and have a duvet day. No frisson of excitement, worrying that the boss might find out. (She’s probably already under the duvet too)

    Nobody warned me about what you lose when you retire.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. inese says:

    Happy days! 😉 Delighted you keep yourself busy with the things you enjoy doing. Love your jokes! The Bible study one is a gem!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Debra says:

    I am eager to get my Covid-vaccine, and I’ve been joking that this is the first time I’ve been eager to share the information that I’m older than 65. After the vaccine is administered, I’ll go back to denying it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Baydreamer says:

    We’re not retired yet, but ready and willing. Just have to wait a couple more years. Again, patience!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. wolfsrosebud says:

    That’s my husband… bragging about his age to get a discount!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yep! And we are enjoying our retirement. I especially like that last one.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jfwknifton says:

    “It’s weird being the same age as old people.” It certainly is. I’m locked in time at about forty or forty five but unfortunately my body is twenty years older.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Pied Type says:

    I’m sending “It’s weird being the same age as old people” to all my siblings (4 of them).

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m not retired but I don’t go ‘in’ to work. And I work weekends. So Mondays–not a big deal.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Christi says:

    That Bible study joke is pretty darn funny!

    Liked by 1 person

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