Friday Wisdom – Shopping

I went to buy a mattress.  The sales person showed me a few, but I was unsure and said, “I don’t know, I’ll need to sleep on it.”

Guardians of the Galaxy  – the security guards standing outside the Samsung store.

A judge went the mall and shouted an order in the food court.

If the shoe fits buy two pairs.

The toy store tried to sell me Supergirl, Lara Croft and Wonder Woman.  They might be a heroine dealer.

Why is the slowest checker always in the express lane?

Advice to men: Don’t try to guess her size, just buy anything “petite” and keep the receipt.

They’re giving the new C.E.O of Amazon a new title.  From now on he’ll be referred to as the Prime Minister.

Today I ordered an egg and a chicken from Amazon – I’ll let you know which one comes first.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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18 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Shopping

  1. Good ones, but yes the best was last.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Christi says:

    Okay, these were all great, but I think you saved the best for last. That one is hilarious!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “A heroine dealer” – bahahaha!!! That one really tickled my funnybone. Your advice about buying “petite” made me laugh, too; but mainly because it would only work with women who aren’t nearly six feet tall. If Hubby bought me something labelled ‘petite’, I’d wonder if he had a mistress who was currently puzzling over how to wear a garment that was two feet too long.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t buy clothes for my wife, but I do go with her sometimes – mostly to bring my credit card and to reenforce why she doesn’t like shopping with me. I think it’s the supportive comments like, “That looks nice on you, get a dozen.”

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jfwknifton says:

    “Don’t try to guess her size” is a “Many a true word is spoken in jest” jest.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Love the last one. So clever!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. kathy70 says:

    Love your observation about checkers, so true.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Good ones, Andrew!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Pied Type says:

    Why is the slowest checker always in the express lane? I believe that’s a corollary to Why is the other lane always faster?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. dorannrule says:

    Thankyou for the giggles!

    Liked by 2 people

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