As a young man I wanted to get into banking, but I kept losing interest.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing it’s Thursday.
I’m a great multitasker – I can be unproductive, waste time, and procrastinate all at the same time.
Team work is great – it gives you someone else to blame.
My boss said, “Who’s stupid, you or me?” I replied, “It’s well known that you don’t hire stupid people.”
I went to work at a paper company, but it folded.
My job is secure. No one else will take it.
I was studying to become a train engineer, but I got sidetracked …
At one point I was studying to be a historian, but then I realized there’s no future in it.