Friday Wisdom – Doctors

I got my second vaccine yesterday so let’s see what’s up at the hospital:

Statistically speaking, 6 out of 10 injections are in vein.

There’s this great joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was …

“Keep off the grass” — a sign outside the rehab clinic.

The patient was wheeled into the operating room, where he had a change of heart.

Why did the doctor tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

My doctor said that jogging could add years to my life. She’s right, I started jogging and feel ten years older.

I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my liver. He prescribed half a pound of onions.

Never lie to an x-ray technician – they can see right through you.

A friend of mine decided to become a dermatologist. He wanted to start his career from scratch.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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14 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Doctors

  1. Why did the doctor lose his temper? Because he didn’t have any patients. That’s it. That’s all I got. And yours are way better!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Baydreamer says:

    Lucky you, I’m still waiting for the first! Thanks for the chuckles!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Keep off the grass” made me snort.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. kathy70 says:

    Thanks, this week had me laugh out loud.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jfwknifton says:

    “Doctor, doctor, nobody ever seems to take any notice of me”
    “Next patient, please, nurse.”
    And that’s it. The only medical joke I know. And it’s terrible. Mainly because it isn’t funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You’re lucky to have gotten your second shot. We’re still waiting and hoping that we might get our first shot before May. Sigh. But at least your jokes gave me a chuckle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hopefully you get it soon. When they started the vaccine program here I was at the end of the list, but about a month ago they started adding younger ages and other medical conditions to the priority list. Suddenly, I was eligible and the county got more doses delivered. When I talk to family and friends in other areas, it does seem a bit of the luck of the draw for who gets the shot and who doesn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dave Foyle says:

    Congrats on getting the 2nd vaccine. As you’ve likely heard, the 2nd one can make you tired and/or fever, etc for a few days.

    But… It is truly a relief. I know I felt like a weight of anxiety and waiting was lifted we finally got our vaccines!

    Liked by 1 person

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