Friday Wisdom – Medical

This week I went in for routine blood tests so naturally the medical world is on my mind.

According to my doctor 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

The nurse told me this great amnesia joke, but I can’t remember it.

I drove past the rehab clinic and there was a sign on the lawn, “Keep off the Grass.”

They wheeled her into the operating room, and then she had a change of heart.

People who don’t find jokes funny are suffering from irony deficiency.

Bad timing defined: having a heart attack during a game of charades.

Did you hear about the book that went to a doctor? It had a broken spine.

The medical student made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.

I lied to the X-ray technician, but she could see right through me.

I called my doctor and said that I feel run down. She asked why and I said, “Because of the tire tracks on my legs.”

I told my doctor that I thought my hair was thinning. “Good,” he replied, “No one wants fat hair.”

They said that jogging could add years to my life. So I started jogging and they’re right – I feel ten years older already.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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24 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Medical

  1. Christi says:

    That charade joke, too funny! You’ve got a hit there. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny as always! And that last one? REAL LIFE.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good to keep a sense of humor because we oldsters are in doctor’s offices a lot!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re such a delight! Irony deficiency, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Always good for several smiles . . . Thank you, Andrew. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. These are great, Andrew, especially the last one.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jfwknifton says:

    As always, I really enjoyed that. When I was last in hospital, I found out the hard way that the lady taking the blood test had heard every vampire joke in a very large book.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Pied Type says:

    Yep, the charades one got me. Big LOL.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. floridaborne says:

    These are hilarious. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. šŸ˜‚. Needed those tonight. šŸ˜

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Debra says:

    Having a heart attack in a game of charades really did make me laugh. That would be a great SNL sketch!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. davidprosser says:

    My friend said she didn’t want to visit hospitals anymore since she saw a film called Psycho The Rapist.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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