This week I went in for routine blood tests so naturally the medical world is on my mind.
According to my doctor 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.
The nurse told me this great amnesia joke, but I can’t remember it.
I drove past the rehab clinic and there was a sign on the lawn, “Keep off the Grass.”
They wheeled her into the operating room, and then she had a change of heart.
People who don’t find jokes funny are suffering from irony deficiency.
Bad timing defined: having a heart attack during a game of charades.
Did you hear about the book that went to a doctor? It had a broken spine.
The medical student made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.
I lied to the X-ray technician, but she could see right through me.
I called my doctor and said that I feel run down. She asked why and I said, “Because of the tire tracks on my legs.”
I told my doctor that I thought my hair was thinning. “Good,” he replied, “No one wants fat hair.”
They said that jogging could add years to my life. So I started jogging and they’re right – I feel ten years older already.