Friday Wisdom – Shoes

This week I had a few medical tests done. Mostly routine, but I did have to get an x-ray of my foot. I have plantar fasciitis and it’s flared up recent. Likely, I just need to get some specially made, expensive shoe inserts so here’s what I know about shoes:

I went to get gas this morning and the pumps weren’t working so I went inside and asked the lady at the counter, “Do you have your pumps on?” She said, “No, I’ve got my sandals on today.”

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was sole destroying.

I meat a guy who’s an expert at making clown shoes – it’s no small feet.

There’s a shoe repair shop in town run by a married couple. They’re sole mates.

I remember when I was a kid when my brothers and I wold race to put our shoes on – it always ended in a tie.

What type of shoes does bread wear? Loafers.

Shoe Quote of the week: Is it better for a shoe to be or not to be? Sockspeare

Have you noticed that Winnie-the-Pooh doesn’t wear shoes? He has bear feet.

Little known fact: The world’s most famous footwear philosopher is Sockrates.

My young grandson once asked me, “Can you put my shoes on?” I said I’d try but I didn’t think they’d fit me.

The most popular shoes among artists are Sketchers.

Little known fact: Slippers are made from banana peels.

Did you hear about the computer that went into a shoe shop? It needed to be rebooted …

I wasn’t sure that orthopedic shoes would improve my posture, but I stand corrected.

Running shoes are great when you’ve forgotten something – they can really jog your memory.

I was discussing shoes with my plumber and he said the only shoe he hates are clogs.

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Saturday Wisdom – Coffee

This week my brother Bill was finally discharged from the hospital so I had another long drive back to San Jose to get him settled at home. When I’m on the road I stop a lot at Starbucks for caffeine (coffee) , so here’s what I know about Starbucks and coffee:

I learned that there is a sad coffee – it’s called depresso.

I was sitting in my car outside Starbucks drinking a latte in my slippers when I thought, “They should have given me a cup.”

I went to the urgent care doctor and told her that I get a stabbing pain in my face every time I take a sip of coffee. She said to take the spoon out of my mug.

What kind of money do they use on the space station? Star-bucks.

The kid next door is like coffee – always getting grounded.

I have no problem with caffeine. I have a lot of problems without caffeine.

I was in Starbucks when someone stole my cappuccino. The Barista called the police and reported a mugging.

Never give a snake coffee – it makes them viperactive.

Paul McCartney is rumored to be working on a new song for a Starbucks commercial – Latte it Be!

I knew a guy who got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters. Turns out that’s grounds for dismissal.

A guy I knew took a first date to Starbucks. Turns out he’d forgotten her name …

I was reading about this lady who sued Starbucks. The judge threw out the lawsuit because she had no grounds.

I bought a coffee in Starbucks today. No idea what that is in Earth money.

I tried a new drink a Starbucks today, but it tasted familiar. It was a case of Deja Brew.

Years ago I was manager of an IT team and I put a sign on the coffee pot saying, “Break fluid.”

Tolkien’s first draft: Not all who wander are lost. / They’re just looking for coffee …

Coffee raises my heart rate, so I count a large mug of coffee as my aerobic exercise for the day.

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Field of Daffodils

How many of you hear the word, “daffodil” and spontaneously start reciting, “I wandered lonely as a cloud …” ?  

If you went to school in the UK likely you studied this poem and possibly were forced to memorize sections of it or at least have to read it aloud.  Here in the states it’s one of the poems they’d make you read in grade school.  When I was in grade school they made me memorize a poem that featured a guy named Henry – I can’t remember the poem, the title or the author.  Likely it was due to the trauma (see traumatic amnesia) of having to memorize it and then listen to 25 other eleven year-olds repeat it all morning while our teacher corrected all our mistakes.

Daffodils are the exact opposite of that experience – restful, beautiful and filled with symbolism.     Most of us have seen the yellow flowers that bloom in early spring. I’d venture to say that many of us have them in our gardens.  Daffodils are of the genus narcissus which includes jonquils and cyclamens and something like 150 other species.  The color range of these flowers generally include yellow or white flowers sometimes with orange highlights.

At this point some of you are wondering why I’m writing about daffodils. Well, it’s a challenge.  A few months ago the writing group decided that we should mix things up a bit and instead of one prompt for the whole group we would each draw a different word or phase from a basket.  The prompts put into the basket were written by the members of the group.  Some of the prompts were good, some not so good and some just plan odd like, “field of daffodils.” At the least I wasn’t the person who drew, “when I die,” as a prompt. Sorry Heather.

I’m not much of a gardener so I started by doing some research and discovered that daffodils or narcissus have been around for a very long time.  Being a writer I was interested in the origin of the words and found that narcissus actually derives from myth of Narcissus.  Having studied English literature, I am well versed in Greek myth … 

The short version of the story goes like this: There was a hunter named Narcissus who was known for his beauty.  While he was out hunting, he sees his reflection in a pool of water and stares at it until he dies.  Once dead, a flower sprouts which is called Narcissus.  There are many versions of this, some involving a sister, a nymph, a lover, and one involving another beautiful male youth. Most of these are jilted lovers who get revenge by showing Narcissus himself in the pool. Some of these get quite racy.  In general the moral of the tale is that Narcissus fell in love with himself and was destroyed by that.

Some of you read ahead and now know where we get the personality disorder, narcissistic from.  Also, narcissus (the plant) have been used as a medicine for thousands of years.  It even has a link to the word narcotic – as in intoxicated.  I should point out at this point that narcissus does produce an alkaloid that is poisonous and as a result you shouldn’t eat too many daffodils – especially their bulbs as you could die.

Well, maybe not like Narcissus, but you’d have a really bad day.

Interestingly and despite the gloomy origin of the word narcissus (let me tell you that is a difficult word to type repeatedly), daffodils and narcissus generally have come to symbolize:

  • Rebirth 
  • New beginnings
  • March’s birth flower
  • 10th wedding anniversary
  • Hope
  • Resilience
  • The national flower of Wales as it blooms around March 1st and St. David’s day
  • In some parts of the world it’s thought to be an aphrodisiac and a cure for baldness

All much different than poor Narcissus dying beside a pool and turning into a flower.

Which brings me back to Wordsworth and his much memorized and studied poem, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.”  Wordsworth adds new meaning to the Daffodil by turning into a visual feast that fills the speaker of the poem with delight, peace, simple pleasure and a general sense of happiness.  This now classic poem was inspired by a walk Wordsworth had in the Lake District in 1802 where he encountered lots and lots of daffodils.  The original poem was written in 1804, first published in 1807 and later revised in 1815.  And I thought it took me a long time to write a poem.

Well, at least he got his published …

Mostly when I think of the phrase, “Field of Daffodils,” I think of my mother.  She lived in Stockton California for many years and in the spring she would often drive to the Sierra foothills to visit Daffodil Hill.  This is actually a ranch near the town of Volcano owned by the McLaughlin family since 1887.  They took their passion for daffodils to the extreme and over the more than a century there, have planted 300,000 bulbs and the display is stunning.  My mother loved it and returned many times.  The display is short lived and unpredictable about when it exactly starts so she’d have to call their answering machine every few days to find out when the ranch would open its gates to visitors.  It was not an easy place to find or to get the timing right to see it.  The last time she saw would have been in the late 1990’s just before she moved back to San Jose.

Sadly you can’t visit Daffodil Hill anymore.  The internet made the place easier to find with GPS and millions could follow the opening day of Daffodil Hill on their FaceBook page.  By 2019, the crowds got so large and unruly that the family finally said, “we can’t do this.”  They never charged admission to see the daffodils and the thousands of daily visitors along with the hours long line of cars waiting to get in ended family’s desire to open up their home and they announced that the hill would be closed to the public from now on.

The annual event was a tourist draw to Amador County and the communities of Jackson and Sutter Creek.  This year the community of Sutter Creek is advertising all the other places in town that have daffodils and I’m sure there’s an effort to grow more to encourage the tourists to go there instead.

But things like mothers, daffodils and Daffodil Hill are fleeting.  Their moments in the fresh air and sun of spring are only the briefest of time and we’re left only with memories and the words of poets.

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Friday Wisdom – Tomatoes

We’ve been going tomatoes in our garden. A few weeks ago we were showing them to the family and someone mentioned that we had a lot of tomato plants. We only have 75, that’s not too many. Heather has been harvesting daily and we’re getting 2-4 pounds a day. She’s also cooking and preserving them. I never knew there were so many different ways to cook a tomato. If you visit our home, you’re going home with tomatoes … seriously, no one leaves without a bag of tomatoes. And here is everything else I know about the humble tomato:

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. Philosophy asks if a Bloody Mary counts as a fruit smoothie …

Actually I know a local tomato and vegetable farmer who’s business has gone into liquidation. He’s making smoothies now.

I rubbed some tomato ketchup in my eyes – in Heinz sight it wasn’t a good idea.

I was out in the tomato garden looking for caterpillar tracks. That’s when I got run over by a tank.

Did you hear about the tomato who was speeding on a motorcycle? He was trying to ketchup with the rest of the gang.

I still think the best smelling tomato is A Roma.

You can fix a broken tomato with tomato paste.

A tomato’s favorite dance is the Salsa!

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

I had a tomato working for me once, but he was doing such a bad job that I had to can him.

My wife told me to put ketchup on the grocery list – now I can’t read anything on the list.

I’ve been reading about competitive tomato gardening – a sport with really high stakes.

Sad news, the inventor if cell phone autocorrect died. The funnel will be held tomato.

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