I had a fancy latte the other day where Heather and I discussed the finer points of coffee. Here’s everything I know about it:
I learned that there is a sad coffee – it’s called depresso.
I was sitting in my car outside Starbucks drinking a latte in my slippers when I thought, “They should have given me a cup.”
I went to the urgent care doctor and told her that I get a stabbing pain in my face every time I take a sip of coffee. She said to take the spoon out of my mug.
What kind of money do they use on the space station? Star-bucks.
The kid next door is like coffee – always getting grounded.
I have no problem with caffeine. I have a lot of problems without caffeine.
I was in Starbucks when someone stole my cappuccino. The Barista called the police and reported a mugging.
Never give a snake coffee – it makes them viperactive.
Paul McCartney is rumored to be working on a new song for a Starbucks commercial – Latte it Be!
I knew a guy who got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters. Turns out that’s grounds for dismissal.
A guy I knew took a first date to Starbucks. Turns out he’d forgotten her name …
I was reading about this lady who sued Starbucks. The judge threw out the lawsuit because she had no grounds.
I bought a coffee in Starbucks today. No idea what that is in Earth money.
I tried a new drink a Starbucks today, but it tasted familiar. It was a case of Deja Brew.
Years ago I was manager of an IT team and I put a sign on the coffee pot saying, “Break fluid.”
Tolkien’s first draft: Not all who wander are lost. / They’re just looking for coffee …
Coffee raises my heart rate, so I count a large mug of coffee as my aerobic exercise for the day.




