Friday Wisdom – From the Woodshop

Safety tip when using a table saw: Count the number of fingers you have before and after the cut.  You should have the same number in both counts. Report discrepancies to the nearest ER.

Woodworking: The practice of cutting large pieces of wood into small pieces and then gluing them back together to make a big piece.

I was looking out the shop window at a tree growing in the yard and asked myself, “Is that a son of a beech, or a son of a birch?”  Just then a woodpecker flew over and said to me, “No, it’s not either, but it is the best piece of ash I’ve ever had.”

Measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with an axe.

That’s not a mistake. It’s a design feature.

It looks better when viewed from six feet away.

Any one thinking money doesn’t grow on trees, hasn’t bought lumber recently.

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Wednesday Gardening – BBQ Tomatoes

Heather finished planting the second driveway bed last week but still had a couple of tomato plants.

So we had this old BBQ that I was going to throw out:

The BBQ bed.

Grow ’em then grill ’em?

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Friday Wisdom – Changing

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem.

Q: How many choir directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No one knows. Nobody ever looks at the director.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

Q: How many government bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three, one to fill out the forms, one to review the forms to make sure they’re filled out correctly, and one to screw the bulb into the water faucet.

Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: “Daddy I need a new apartment!”

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to climb the giraffe, and one to fly the purple and yellow lettuce leaf.

Q: How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven but the bulb never gets changed.

Bonus question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: Why are we always questioning the motives of the chicken? If the chicken wants to cross the road, it can cross the road. It’s not our place to question that, leave the poor chicken alone.

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Wednesday Garden – Peas and Corn

Time for more garden pictures from the driveway:

Squash and cucumber seedlings

 

The second bed now has it’s crop ready to go.

Peas almost ready to harvest.

The pea crop is doing well and we should have fresh peas soon.

After the peas we’ll have corn.

The corn is doing well and I’m looking forward to some fresh corn.

More gardening next week.

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