No Post Today

Posted on 08/19/2012 by Andrew Reynolds

I’ve decided not to write a post for today.  Tomorrow I’m scheduled for a colonoscopy and today I am doing the prep.  You don’t want to know and I don’t want to describe. It is having a negative effect on my mental processes so I feel it is best not to write today.

Even though I am not writing today there are a few things I’d like to bring you up to date on.  This last week has mostly been about the 13 year-old in the house.  He’s a budding computer geek who’s spent most of my evenings trying to figure out what the best language to write a computer game is and which is the best game engine.  Me being a software engineer has made it hard for me to duck the questions and found myself at the browser a few times sending him URLs for him to read later.

Yesterday we totally geeked out by going to the Computer History Museum.  We even stayed to see the demonstration of the Babbage difference engine.  I’d explain more but unless you’re really interested in math, computers and the industrial revolution it does get a bit boring. The simplest way to describe is a steam-powered computer.  The interesting part is that the device was designed by Mr. Babbage in the 1800’s but never built.  About 20 years ago a museum in London decided to see if they could build one according to Babbage’s plans.  They succeeded and two were built.

We got to see it really operate and got to hear the whole lecture on how the engine is used to solve polynomial equations.  Now before you think I’ve gone completely weird on you, I should point out that there were about 50 people there for the demonstration and almost all stayed for the math lesson (well I suspect that at least half in attendance were qualified to give the lecture).

Since it’s been a computer focused week, I did start editing the videos we took of our other kid visits and I managed to get one video completed and delivered to our daughter.  This editing project inspired the grandson to try his hand at editing and he produced two.  We uploaded one and the other one needs a few “grandpa” edits before it gets uploaded.

Last week I mentioned my blogging friend over at YAPCaB.  Well his photo website, Jim’s Pic of the day, was recipient of nomination for the Versatile Blogger Award. If you’ve not been to Jim’s Pic of the day, I’d recommend you take a look.  He posts some great pictures.

Turns out that he decided that I deserved a nomination too so he did.   Thank you!  I appreciate the nod.  I generally don’t put much stock into awards and certainly I didn’t start this website to become “award winning.” But I really do appreciate that you think kindly of my little site.

It really feels good to know that someone out there likes what you’re doing.

Which brings me to one thought that has been in and out of mind for a while now – where am I going with this blog?

I started with a little exercise in spiritual writing, then started posting stuff on my woodworking and there I got a little stuck.  In fact I almost gave up on this blog.  Then I got hit between the eyes with prostate cancer and I’ve been writing consistently since.  But now that I am moving away from that crisis point and have hope of a very long remission I find that I am losing a bit of focus here.  Lately it feels like every time I sit down at the keyboard to write the first thought in my head is, “I’ve got nothing to say,” and go on for 850 words talking about nothing.

At this point a good writer, blogger should have an answer to the question just posed but I don’t.  I am still in that in-between place where I am looking for ‘something.’  I thought about writing more on wood working and marquetry. I’ve still have the incomplete ‘intertexual project’ and I’ve given serious thought to doing some podcasting or even a little video work for my little blog.  There are a ton of subjects I am interested in from the history of computing to the current research in cancer treatments to sea shanties.

That is part of my task for the next couple of weeks.

Posted in General, Travel, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Habit

Posted on 08/12/2012 by Andrew Reynolds

“It’s my habit to write on a Sunday.”

Those were the words I said to my 13 year-old grandson who is visiting this week. At 13 he’s mostly into his computer game and sleeping late but he still consented to spend a week with his, “dear grand parents.” My choosing to write rather than being with him and gran in the living room doesn’t seem to bother him. Perhaps it will, years from now, when he is in therapy dealing with abandonment issues.

I find the words I spoke to be a bit odd. When did it become my habit? And why? This blog started over a year ago as a little experiment of mind to see if I could write consistently and maintain a blog. At first that didn’t work so well and my posts weren’t on any schedule. Then it happened, a call from my doctor and a diagnosis I didn’t want.

At first I went silent and turned inward to reflect, pray and deal with the emotional fire storm that was lit in my soul. Then, as a way to express what was going on in my head and heart, I started writing. Then I posted that here. Then I wrote more and more until I found I had written past my treatment and found that I just needed to keep doing.

You could go look up the history of my posts to see when it happened but it has happened. Somewhere in the last few months this Sunday activity has become part of my life. When I don’t do it I find something missing that week.

Perhaps it is one of the good things that has come out of my brush with cancer. It’s strange to say that anything good has come out this. In general this whole cancer thing has been at best a trial and at its worst nearly unbearable. While the disease has helped focus my mind and attention better on those things that are important to me, it has stolen other things from me.

A fellow blogger has written about such a feeling here:YAPCaB Burglary

YAPCaB compares the cancer experience to a burglary of his home – a very poignant analogy and it got me thinking. In fact I’ve been thinking about this a lot and have had his post open in my browser window since he posted it. I sat in church the morning after reading it and instead of listening to the pastor’s sermon I wrote an outline of a post I felt moved to write. Looking back on the outline I’ve decided that the outline speaks for itself so I present it here without attempting to flesh it out with flowery prose:
1. The Thief
a. Loss of trust
b. Loss of innocence
c. Loss of time
d. Loss of hope
2. Moving from the robbery
a. The desire to protect oneself
b. The desire for reassurance
c. The desire for justice
d. The desire to turn back the clock
3. Acceptance
a. Easier said than done
b. Understanding things as they are
c. Use the time we have to the fullest
d. Being mindful of the joy around us.
4. It’s not as easy as it sounds
a. Pain
b. Disappointment
c. Unfulfilled dreams

If I were to cite anyone thing as being the hardest part of the cancer to deal with is the last item – unfulfilled dreams. In my youth, I endlessly watched “The Muppet Movie.” Kermit’s mission to follow his dream speaks to my soul and all through my life I’d had the desire to follow my dreams. Sadly I’ve not done the best job at that, but still I’ve accomplished some of them. Now as I age and face health problems it is clear that some of my dreams will never be.

How can I let them go? How could I have let that thief into my body?

Today I don’t have answers – just questions and I am done with the first draft of this post. Now it is my habit to ask my dear wife to proof-read and comment. Then just before bed I’ll publish this, as is my habit.

Till next week.

Posted in Health, Prostate Cancer, Spirit, Writing | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Just Pictures

Posted on 08/05/2012 by Andrew Reynolds

It’s been a busy week here and I’ve been very tired.  The grandkids left for their parents house on Wednesday and it’s been strangely quiet around here.  I’ve spent most of my extra time in the workshop and have done almost no writing so today it’s just pictures.  If I can get it together this week, I hope to do some real writing but no promises.

Until I get into the keyboard again here are a few more pictures of Paris and a couple of work I have in progress.

A street near our hotel:

J walking down the street after the rain.

 

Here is a bridge near our hotel:

Paris Bridge

 

Here’s the best view we got of the Mona Lisa at le Louvre:

If you hold your camera up high enough you can get the shot.

Here’s the most common view if you’re just standing and being polite:

Lots of heads and hair in front of the painting.

 

I’ve decided to start grandpa’s Christmas workshop this month in hopes I’ll finish the gifts BEFORE Christmas 2012.  Here are a couple of things I am working on:

Tug Boat

It’s a Puzzle Tug Boat

 

 

Sheep for holding knitting needles and wool. Still needs a backbone.

 

And finally here is a little project related to Prostate Cancer.  A few weeks ago a friend in prostate cancer forum sent me two US postage prostate awareness stamps.  I decided to make frames for them.  I got this design from a friend on a scroll saw forum (attribute TBA when I get permission to use his name).  I cut the piece out of walnut because the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut.  Here is the rough cut out:

A frame for a prostate cancer awareness postage stamp.

 

Well that is it for tonight.  Peace to you and yours.

 

Posted in General, Prostate Cancer, woodworking | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Unfinished Post

Posted on 07/29/2012 by Andrew Reynolds

I am stuck – can’t think of what to write about. No, it’s not because my mind is blank but rather due to the million half-finished thoughts in my brain.  There are still things I want to write about Paris.  The grand kids are still here and have triggered a number of threads.  I’ve been to the doctor again and get to have more fun with doctors next month.

I’d like to write about something I’ve finished. Something that’s complete. Something where the whole thing is in a neat little box with a good story, strong conclusion and powerfully wise meaning.  Don’t have any of those this week.

What I do have is a life full of unfinished business, projects, thoughts and dreams.  In the workshop I’ve got at least six projects lying around in various states of ‘doneness.‘   I’ve got at least four hours of raw video clips I plan to edit into videos.  On the computer are outlines for at least five blog posts, two books, and three magazine articles – each with varying degrees of research and writing completed.  In the back yard there’s a half started fence and the idea of a deck I am going to build.  Even my health feels incomplete – more medical procedures and tests in the near future.  Nothing serious but enough that I feel I can’t move ahead on feeling fully healthy again.

I wonder why there are so many loose ends.  It seems that before I finish one thing a higher priority comes along and I have to switch gears.  Sometimes I lose interest in a project and once in a while I realize that a project or task is just plain stupid. Sometimes I just have a short attention span.

Yesterday in the workshop is a very small example.  One of our grand sons came home with a ‘find’ from a yard sale – a necklace that he wants to give his mom.  He asked me if I could make a box for him.  Sure, I can do jewelry boxes so I started right in. We figured out how big then went into the shop to find some wood.  Then I realized that I’d have to clean up a bit to get to the table saw.  Then I thought – I’d better cut it today so we have time for the glue to dry, then he’ll have to paint it…

And so it goes.  Now I’ve got two little wood boxes in clamps on my table saw sitting next to a tug boat, a sheep, a rocket puzzle and three serving trays.  All in progress.  So why start on a box and end up with two unfinished ones when I’ve got a ton of other work already in progress?

Perhaps the simplest answer is that I just lack the ability to look an eight-year old the eye and say, “I don’t have time to do that.”

Perhaps there is a deeper more sinister answer – some deep psychosis that prevents me from finishing a thought.

Perhaps the answer – Sorry, got to go – gran needs some help with the kids…

Posted in General, Spirit, woodworking | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment