Friday Wisdom – Electricity

Posted on 03/10/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

This week the local power company came out to replace a transformer for out neighborhood. Our power was out for a couple of hours, but when after it came back on, one of our furnace’s thermostat was dead. That thermostat is a programmable one from about 2002 so was likely near the end of its life and the power surge of switching on the new transformer likely finished it off. An HVAC tech will be here today to fix it which leaves me with the question of, do I talk about HVAC or electricity. Well, I know more about electricity than heaters so here’s watt I know:

My electrician drives a Volts-wagon van.

Just so you know, it hertz if you stick your finger in an outlet.

An electrician’s favorite ice cream is Shock-o-lot.

Many people are shocked when the find out how bad an electrician I am.

I bought a sweater that was just full of static electricity. I returned it and got another one free of charge.

There’s a new electrical supply store in town. It’s called the Ohm Depot.

A wind turbine meets a solar panel in a bar. The turbine says to the panel, “I’m a big fan.”

Old electricians never die, they just slowly discharge.

Little known fact: Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.

The transformer at the ice making plant blew up. Now the ice plant has gone into liquidation.

The lights in my house won’t come on and I’ve called an electrician because I just can’t handle the current situation.

I sure my gardener is wrong, planting a light bulb will not grow a power plant.

How many government utility regulations cover the changing of a light bulb? Just four: 1. Requires you to change your light bulb. 2. Specifies what light bulbs you can use. 3. Warns you that changing a light bulb can cause cancer. 4. Bans the disposal of used light bulbs.

I walked by an electrical outlet this morning. I swear I heard it singing, “I’ve Got The Power.”

What do they call London when the power fails? Londoff.

I use to work with an electrician who was so bad that we called him, “Shock absorber.”

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As the Writer Writes #1 – Inflection Point

Posted on 03/05/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

This is the first in a new series of reflections and musings about writing.  Sometimes this will be considering a word or concept. Sometimes a more serious thing about writing, but mostly it’s about what I’m thinking about during the writing process. 

Sometimes words just get stuck in my head.  This week it is, “inflection point.”  There’s a poem hiding in those two words.  There’s a feel on the tongue that is just satisfying as it starts with the soft relaxed, “en” and concluding with the sharp snap of “t” – “in flec tion poin t” The sound starts vague and casual, but ends with a decisive click of the tongue off the roof of the mouth as a final bust of air concludes the thought.

Inflection point.

There’s a poem there.  It both starts and ends there.

By definition it’s a mathematic term meaning the point where a curve changes sign or slope.  It’s the point where a curve changes direction – the point of undulation.  Consider a sine wave plotted on a graph, it curves up for awhile and then curves down.  The inflection point is where the wave changes.  Think of writing the letter U.  Starting on the left we draw our pen downwards until it touches the bottom line and then we curve it back up. It’s that point at the bottom that we call the inflection point.

Sometimes it’s a business term, describing that time of significant change.  Perhaps a product takes off and profits soar, or disaster strikes and income plummets – a turning point.

Extend the words beyond science and now there’s a metaphor.  Think of a time in your life when things changed direction.  Perhaps retirement, marriage, divorce, death, illness, addiction …. all can be that point when your life changes direction.  Families, cities, nations, ideologies, religions … all have the points in their existence when things change directions.  Fire, flood, drought, famine, earthquake, war …

Consider that point of change.  A poem, many poems, live at that point in time.

It’s the poet’s job to consider the undulations of life and bring out in word those points of change.  Those points where we gain and where we lose – where story exists.

That poem ends, “inflection point,” where our tongue clicks and our lungs push the words into the wind.

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Friday Wisdom – Cell Phone

Posted on 03/03/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

My cell phone rang yesterday (doctor’s office confirming an appointment – so exciting), so here’s everything I know about cell phones:

What should you do if you see an onion ring? Answer it.

I left my phone under a pillow last night and this morning it was gone, but there was a dollar in it’s place. I think it was the bluetooth fairy.

The skeleton doesn’t have a cell phone. Well, he has no body to talk to.

I fell asleep on my cell phone yesterday. I downloaded a nap.

What kind of phone does Luke Skywalker have? A Yodafone.

Mr. Potato Head just bought a cell phone just incase Ms. Onion rings.

These days I just can’t picture myself without a cell phone.

I had to get my phone glasses. Well, it had lost its contacts …

What brand of cell phone does Sauron prefer? Mordorola

Just read that Apple is creating a cell phone just for children – iKid you not.

What kind of phones do pirates use? an aye phone.

What do you get when you cross a cell phone and an iron? A smooth signal.

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Wednesday Working – Table Runner and Coasters

Posted on 03/01/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

The snow has forced me indoors for creative work. I’ve done some writing, quilting and a little marquetry. I’d like to be doing more wood working, but with the extreme cold we’ve been having it’s hard to get the shops warm with the electric space heaters I have. My shed shop takes about two hours to get warm enough to work, but the bigger problem is glue. Most of my work requires gluing things together and the glues I use have to be 55F degrees or more to dry properly, that would be a lot of electricity to keep the shop spaces over that temp and it’s just not worth the money. I do bring some of the smaller projects into the house to dry, but it limits what I can do. So I’ve been doing more writing and quilting. Here is where I am with the table runner:

I’ve made the edge banding. Next step is to sew these on and then the top is done. I’m hoping to get to putting the back on and quilting in the next week or two.

I have been working on a small marquetry project and have made four coasters:

This is a set of four with each 3 x 3 inches. These still need sanding an a final varnish. The pattern is the bento box pattern I used for this quilt last year:

This is part of a plan I have to link my quilting to my marquetry. The idea is that for every quilt I do, I’ll do a marquetry companion piece using the same pattern. I’ve also considered doing some kind of writing for each set – a story or poem. The general concept is to approach the same pattern, design from three different artistic interpretations. I’m hoping this creates an interesting artistic something. We’ll see if it works.

I have submitted a few of my poems to different publications, but so far it’s still 100% rejections. I’ll be sending another round of poems out next week. Maybe this time I’ll get something. If you have any recommendations on places to submit poems, let me know (I normally use submittable to find places to submit).

That’s it for this week – if you need me, I’m out shoveling snow before the next storm.

Posted in Marquetry, quilting | Tagged , , , | 28 Comments