Andrew's View of the Week

I’ve decided to repost some of my old wisdom posts — just because we need it more than ever. Friday is trash day on my street so here’s what I know about garbage:

Murphy’s law of cleanliness: It’s impossible to get one thing clean without getting something else dirty.

I applied for a job as a garbage truck driver. They said there is no training – you just pick it up as you drive along.

Name something that has six wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

Our local trash company is testing a advertising slogan: “Our business stinks, but it’s picking up.”

I’ve been spending hours trying to write a joke about garbage, but everything I come up with is trash.

A grouping of small new garbage cans is know as a litter.

I got stopped by a park ranger who told me I couldn’t just throw trash on the ground, so I pointed to the sign and said, “but the sign here says, Fine for Littering.”

I heard a conversation between two garbage cans. It was all trash talk.

Just read about the new union contract for the garbage collectors – those people are filthy rich.

It just feels like buying garbage bags is throwing money away.

Most of the above jokes are recycled. Some are just garbage.

The garbage man waved and said hello to me this morning – he said he knows all the trash around here.

Did you see the YouTube video of a guy trying to make his garbage smell better by throwing herbs in it? Complete waste of thyme.

Yes, I applied to be a garbage man – I hear the industry is picking up.

and finally, always remember that just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can – not garbage cannot …