Andrew's View of the Week

Friday Wisdom – Working to a Deadline

Posted on 06/03/2022 by Andrew Reynolds

Well, remember that shed I demolished and said I was getting a new one? Well the shed company disappointed me and called to delay delivery by two weeks so now I have an empty spot in the yard and stacks of lumber I can’t move until they finally deliver the new shed, so naturally I’m thinking about work and deadlines:

I love deadlines – especially the whooshing noise they make as they fly past.

College students and the government share one thing when it comes to deadlines: both wait till the last minute and then get an extension.

I got a book on deadlines. I was supposed to finish it last week.

Did you hear the chef missed the deadline? He said he ran out of thyme.

I was out with a group of enthusiastic weavers having a great time, but they all had to leave early to meet a looming deadline.

Doctor said I had three months to live, I said that I’ve never meet a deadline in my life.

If it was worth doing, it would have been done by now.

I believe that tomorrow holds possibilities for new technologies and discoveries that will make all my current projects obsolete.

If at first you don’t succeed – well there’s always next year.

Remember that the probability of a miracle, although very small, is not zero.

A good excuse is as good as a finished job.

Team work is always important – it helps to have someone else to blame.

The best way to ruin a Friday is to remember that it’s Tuesday.

If at first you don’t succeed – redefine success.

I was working on some deadline jokes, but I ran out of time before I had to post this.

Posted in wisdom | Tagged deadline jokes, humor, wisdom | 17 Comments

Memorial Day

Posted on 05/30/2022 by Andrew Reynolds

This is a poem I wrote many years ago after a visit to Arlington National Cemetery. It’s one I like to post on Memorial Day. Let us all take a moment to remember the fallen.

The tour bus rumbles past
the quiet monuments to the fallen.
Shutters click as the tour guide
speaks the litany of the shrine,
that once was the Lee estate.
Now it is that hallowed ground
where solders come for that long rest.

The Quick rumble past the carved stones
of the Dead, that once placed
boots of war on their feet.
Their soles now silent.
Now day-trippers take aim and fire.
Cameras, not rifles.
Pictures, not prisoners taken.

The bus stops. The microphone is silent.
To the left a horse pulls a caisson carrying a flag-draped box
That contains a name who once walked.
The warrior sent at our command.
The sightseer sees and falls silent
And hears the echo of guns.
Three volleys and then the mournful notes.

Boys became men
And men became names
And names became graves
Gone is the sun,
Day is done.
God is Nigh.

Posted in General | Tagged Memorial day, poem, Poetry | 21 Comments

Friday Wisdom – Gardening

Posted on 05/27/2022 by Andrew Reynolds

Heather has been working hard in the garden while I’ve been tearing down the shed. Today we went to the garden center and bought plants, lots of plants so here is everything I know about gardening:

Potatoes make great detectives – they always have their eyes peeled.

At the garden center they told us all about growing herbs. Sage advice.

I was up very early this morning and wondered where the sun was, then it dawned on me.

I am perfecting my garden through a process of trowel and error.

I found an interesting plant at the garden center. It was a four-leaf clover crossed with poison oak. They called it a rash of good luck.

What is brown and runs around a garden? The fence.

A slug is a homeless snail.

There is one plant that is always cold: the chilli

The cabbage won the race by a head.

I read a novel about a lady with a very small garden – not much of a plot.

Turns out trees are good at math – the know all about logarithms.

What day of the week do potatoes hate? Fry-day.

The cucumbers were in trouble, quite a pickle really.

Most people don’t laugh at my garden jokes – they’re just too corny.

Potting soil was on sale so I bought four bags – it was dirt cheap.

I didn’t know this, but the fastest vegetable in the garden is the runner bean.

There’s a new company selling insurance for gardens. The company name is Oopsie Daisies …

I went out to the garden this morning and it was flooded. Turns out there was a leek.

Posted in wisdom | Tagged gardening jokes, humor, wisdom | 29 Comments

Wednesday – Demolition Done

Posted on 05/25/2022 by Andrew Reynolds

and so is my back. What a lot of work, but it’s done. Here’s the pictures:

A pile of 2x4s waiting to have nails taken out.

Once the siding was off, it was easy to knock the walls over. The harder part was going through removing nails and stacking the wood out of the way. Most of the wood was 8 foot lengths, but there was some smaller and a few 10 foot sticks.

Just to show how many nails there were, look at that picture – two full one gallon milk containers of nails.

This is a picture of the tools I used to bring the shed down:

The crow bar is a great tool for general prying things apart and pulling nails.
The black flat bar is one of my favorite demo tools. It pries, pulls nails, scrapes and make a satisfying ringing sound when dropped.
The hammer or as I like to call, a persuader as it persuades things to move to new places.
Screw driver for the few screws I found
The blue handled channel locks are good for removing stubborn screws and helps with more difficult nail removal.
The vice grips are for really, really stubborn screws and broken nails.
Gloves – I actually wore out one pair of gloves on this job.
Magnet on a string for when nails roll into awkward places.
Tea cup for morning break.
Water bottle – have to stay hydrated.