Friday Wisdom – Road Trip

I had to do a lot of driving yesterday so here are some thoughts on travelling:

We were having trouble finding the store so I turned down the radio so I could see better.

When we got to the hotel the desk clerk asked if I had reservations. I said, “Yes, but I’ll risk it and stay here anyway.”

I was listening to a report on the radio that said soon there will be self-driving trucks. Made me wonder how long it will be before there’s a country song where the guy’s truck leaves him.

My brother said I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti – you should have seen the look on his face when I drove pasta.

It’s bad when it’s raining cats and dogs, but watch for hailing taxi.

Why aren’t more aliens visiting earth? Horrible ratings – only one star.

There’s nothing like sleeping through a road trip – except for the screaming of your passengers …

Did you hear about the pianist who was planning a vacation? She wants to go to the Florida Keys.

I went to the airport and got sick. The doctor thought I might have a terminal illness.

My road trip play list includes the song, “Hotel California.” After it played the sixth time I turned off the music. You can turn off the song anytime you want but the song never leaves.

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Three Things that Could be Poems

I wanted to write a poem so I started to think about a subject, a line, an object, a scene or metaphor that could be turned into verse.  In daily life there are so many things that we overlook.  As we walk through the world we miss the everyday poetry in the simple acts of mowing the lawn, buying groceries or just sitting and looking at the floor.

I encounter three things this week that my brain is trying to condense into poems.  There are feelings, images, and emotions that my poetic brain wants to convey to you.  In my mind there is this desire to understand the symbols and hidden lessons of the simple world around us.

Jumbled in my head are thoughts – I think of a stew just starting to cook.  Individual pieces float in cold water, but with time and heat they meld, merge and form a rich broth.

This week there are just pieces.  Ingredients of what could be.  That’s all I have this week.

Mowing the Lawn in the Desert

It was just after breakfast and before morning tea that I stepped out into the desert air.  Above the backyard rises a bare mountain.  It’s a desert mountain with a dusting of sage brush, a tree sprinkled here and there, on top of rocky sand.  The bones are rock that the wind flies over.  The air is still and I can smell the cold fragrance of pine and soil.  In the tree tops air moves whispering of the coming afternoon wind.

From the shed I pull out the lawn mower and preform the ritual, slide the fully charged battery in, place the bag over the chute and wheel it to the corner of the lawn.  The mower hums as I move it over the green.

A contrast.  Artificial and out of place in the barren landscape, but yet perfectly fitting the neat garden and contained within the concrete sidewalks.  Without human efforts the smell of fresh grass would not be possible.  We have shaped the world to our desires.  We live outside the intent of nature.  We attempt to control pieces while the mountains watch our efforts.

Rolling Bottle

I was standing at the cash register watching the checker scan my items: A bag of lettuce, a can of beans, a box of crackers … 

Once scanned she placed, threw, launched the carefully chosen items on a conveyor belt that led to the bagger who was furiously shoving things into bags.  The checker quickly placed a bottle on the belt.  The round bottle fell over and started to roll.  That’s when I noticed that the belt went slightly up hill and the bottle just spun in place.  Gravity pulling back towards the checker while the movement of the belt tried to move it towards the bagger.

A box of pasta was discarded by the checker onto the conveyor.  Moving up hill, I watched and wondered if the box would push the bottle to the bagger or would the rolling bottle push the box back to the checker.

In this drama, the box touched the bottle and stopped its spinning allowing the belt to push both up hill to the waiting bag.

How many of us are bottles?

How many of us are boxes?
How many of us need a box to stop our pointless rolling?

The Museum’s Concrete Floor

I was in the art museum.  It was a good day, but also a bad day as my knee hurt and I needed my cane to walk.  Titled Victorian Radicals: From the Pre-Raphaelites to the Arts and Crafts Movement, this exhibit had many fine paintings, sculptures, books and other interesting art.  Much of the work came from Birmingham where my wife was born and had spent time training to be a nursery nurse.

I thought I could see the art and find a poem.

Halfway through, I saw a bench and my knee begged me to sit awhile.  It’s strange that after you see a lot of art that your brain wants to shutdown a bit.  It’s an input overload.  You see things – too many things and your brain stops processing the images.  I let my eyes drop to the floor, resting both knee and brain.

The floor was concrete.  Bare, but waxed and polished.  There were a few stains and a small hole where likely someone had once shot a nail in to the floor – maybe for an old wall or exhibit case.  From the wall there was a crack – thin, almost spiderweb like crack moving across the floor and under my bench.  In the middle of the room a crack radiated out perpendicularly from the first crack I saw.

All concrete cracks.  These cracks develop as the concrete dries, cures and shrinks.  You can’t stop it.  It’s part of the process – part of the essence of concrete.  Builders and concrete workers have ways to hide the cracks.  Those long lines on your driveway and the lines across the sidewalk are put there on purpose.  These cuts are made when the concrete is wet and weakens the material at those lines.  The cracks happen there.  A clever concrete crew can make it look like there are no cracks, but it’s an illusion.  They just know how to force the crack to be where they want it.

A floor like the museum has is normally covered in carpet or vinyl so you’d never see the crack.  If you were in a hospital, grocery store or pet shop, you would see a nice floor, but the cracks would be hidden.

Here, where the art hangs on the walls, and where the walls change with every exhibition, they just let the floor run wild.  It’s not meant to be seen.

But yet there is a pattern.  There is a history of decisions.  There is a story why.  There is a metaphor that runs through our controlled yet wild lives.

Perhaps the poem is in the crack on the floor and not hanging on the wall.

And there is my stew.  Raw food waiting to be cut, chopped, spiced, mixed, and simmered until a poem’s aroma fills the room.

What ingredients have you found this week?

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Friday Wisdom – At the Museum

We’re off to visit the local art museum, so here’s some related thoughts:

When we got to the museums my wife asked me if I thought it would be okay to take pictures. I said, “No I think you should leave them on the wall.”

They caught the art thief as he tried to drive way from the museum. He ran out of gas. He told the judge that he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

You’re Baroque when you’re out of Monet.

They was a break in at the National Origami Museum in Tokyo – more details as the story unfolds.

I once went to the National Air and Space Museum. The name is a bit misleading – the place was full of stuff.

Did you hear about the guy who was convicted of art theft? I think he was framed.

I got an evening job at the Amour Museum doing tours. Yes, I got the knight shift.

I was going to go to the National pencil museum, but decided it was pointless.

I felt really old after going to the computer museum – one of the exhibits featured the computer I’m using at home.

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Wednesday How to: Digging a Post Hole

I’ve been thinking that I might do a bit more how-to posts.  You never know who might find this information valuable.  This time I’m going to share one of my better known skills.

Yes, digging post holes.  You never know when you might need to dig one and there are a number of methods you can employ.  I’ve dug lots of post holes – maybe as many as 20 or 22 – I’m an expert.

Post holes are to put posts in and in our modern world most posts, other than blog posts, are for fencing.  Fences are important to keep out the neighbors, stray dogs, and to hide the junk you haven’t taken to the landfill.  Every homeowner has one.  In general renters have to rely on their landlords to provide and maintain fencing.  Sometimes you might need a post hole for a really large trellis or to anchor a very large planter box.

So once you’ve identified the need for a post hole you have a number of methods available for digging one.  Here are the top five:

  1. By hand with a traditional post hole digger
  2. Powered post hole auger 
  3. Credit card
  4. Creative procrastination
  5. Find a reason to not dig the hole

Let’s explore each method starting with number five.  In my professional life as an engineer I told people that I had three options with every request that I do something: I could do it, I could find someone else to do it or I could convince you that it didn’t need to be done. 

In the case of post holes you just ask why you need a post hole and are there other options.  Maybe you could plant a hedge or just prop up the existing fence with a stick.  You could do something like I recently did – when they were installing my new workshop shed and I had to remove 22 feet of fencing.

Now, demolition is fun so there was never any question that I’d knock that fence down.  Sadly, removing the fence raised the specter of having to replace the fence when the shed was completed.  In this case I have Heather to thank for saving me the work of digging five post holes to replace the fence.  Turns out that one 16 foot wall of the shed sits exactly on the old fence line and Heather correctly pointed out that the wall of the shed makes a fine fence.  That left just six feet of fence and two post holes to dig.

Method four is really just another way of avoiding the job while pretending that you’ll do it some day.  There are all kinds of really good reasons to delay digging.  Weather is a good one – it’s raining, too hot, too cold, etc. Then there’s the, “Should we call the pipe location people first?” Since most people don’t know how to do that you can buy weeks of delay with that.  There’s health – My recent bout of gout bought me a good 10 days of delay on the post holes.

Once you’ve been convinced that you have to dig you move to option three: credit card.  What you do is to take the card, your cell phone and start calling fencing companies, landscapers, handymen or anyone who might trade money for labor.  That extra six feet of fence I mentioned above, yeah we had a fencing company installing the catio so I showed them the six feet of needed fence and two post holes we needed.  For just $150, they added the job to the project and dug the holes.

Well, just yesterday I did in fact dig two post holes here at our home.  Heather and I have been redoing the front court yard area and just this week it hit us that we needed to put up a really big trellis along one wall to grow a vine on.  This would add some needed planting in an otherwise bare area.  Here’s a picture of the finished trellis frame: (<insert pic>)

This meant digging two post holes.  I’ll say right now that I don’t always try to avoid digging.  In fact sometimes digging big holes can be fun – just ask any boy, no matter their age …

With just two methods left, I quickly rejected the idea of a power auger.  First the holes are too close to the house and I’d have to go rent one.  Then there is the problem of the soil in our area.  It would be generous to call what we have here, ‘soil,’ it’s rock and sand with a bit of dirt.

Okay, mostly rock.  Big rocks that would likely break the power tool and then I’d lose my deposit plus the embarrassing phone calls to the insurance company right after I got out of the emergency room.

So instead I opted for the good old hand dig using my favorite tools (<insert pics>) – my trenching shovel, the post hole digger and the large iron bar.

Here in the desert, digging a post isn’t like most places where you thrust a shovel into the ground and remove dirt.  Here, your first push into the ground will hit a rock.  In fact the whole digging process here is really just finding and removing the rocks.  Thats where the iron bar comes in.  Lift the bar with the pointy end down and drop it to locate and pry out the rocks.  The post hole digger is used as a large pair of tongs to remove the rocks.  I don’t use the trenching shovel much for the holes, but it’s my favorite shovel and I just like to have it around – it’s an old and reliable friend.

The process just keeps repeating until you get to the desired depth.  In this case I chose 18 inches.  How deep to dig is really a function of how tall the post is and most times you’d want to dig 24 inches, but if you’re over 60, digging 18 inches feels like 24 so you can just stop at 18.  Folks under 35 need to dig down 30 inches.

And that’s it. Now you have a hole ready to drop a post into.  I’ll cover placing, leveling and cementing in the posts in a future post …

This is a different kind of subject for this blog.  Please let me know in the comments if you find this kind of how-to useful and what other things you’d like how to do.  Don’t limit yourself, I know how to do lots of stuff.

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