Friday Wisdom – Food

My wife went to the back of the boat to cook a simple dinner – just a little stern fry.

I’ve been trying to write cooking jokes, but nothing has been panning out.

Just read a bout a guy arrested for stealing cooking utensils. He reportedly said it was worth the whisk.

I wanted to surprise the family by doing a BBQ. Sadly the fire engine sirens ruined it.

If I die choking on a gummy bear, I hope the just say I was killed by a bear and leave it at that.

I just burned 2,500 calories in one hour. Next time I put brownies in the oven, I’ll start a timer.

So smoking will kill you … bacon can kill you … but smoking bacon cures it …

Did you hear about the man who broke into a kitchen? He heard they had a bread making machine.

Why didn’t the butcher make it to the golf final? He’s know for his slicing …

The baker said that he only gives out his recipes on a knead to know basis.

I knew a chef who could take cheese and make grate things.

I didn’t like the chef. I though he had a shellfish attitude.

Posted in General, wisdom | Tagged , | 26 Comments

21 Guns

This is a poem I wrote many years ago after a visit to Arlington National Cemetery. It’s one I like to post on Memorial Day. Let us all take a moment to remember the fallen.


The tour bus rumbles past
the quiet monuments to the fallen.
Shutters click as the tour guide
speaks the litany of the shrine,
that once was the Lee estate.
Now it is that hallowed ground
where solders come for that long rest.
 
The Quick rumble past the carved stones
of the Dead, that once placed
boots of war on their feet.
Their soles now silent.
Now day-trippers take aim and fire.
Cameras, not rifles.
Pictures, not prisoners taken.
 
The bus stops. The microphone is silent.
To the left a horse pulls a caisson carrying a flag-draped box
That contains a name who once walked.
The warrior sent at our command.
The sightseer sees and falls silent
And hears the echo of guns.
Three volleys and then the mournful notes.
 
Boys became men
And men became names
And names became graves
Gone is the sun,
Day is done.
God is Nigh.


Posted in General | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

Friday Wisdom – Music

Some thoughts that won’t fall flat …

I knew a guy who belonged to a band called the Hinges. They were a support band for the Doors.

A friend started a band call, “Sold-Out.” They had a great poster and ad campaign. Sadly, no one ever came to their shows.

I heard music in the kitchen. The radio was off so I was confused. Turns out it was the Chopin board.

The string quartet couldn’t find the composer – turns out he was Haydn.

How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb? We don’t know – no one ever looks at the director.

There are so many composers – I could make a Liszt.

Making a bandstand is easy – just take away their chairs.

My friends were thinking of starting a cover band. They’re going to call it, “Duvet.”

I was in one of those used record stores and I asked, “Do you have anything by the Doors.” The guy at the register said, “Just the shopping baskets and a couple of posters.”

I was watching a live concert of the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when suddenly the guy playing the triangle disappeared.

Posted in wisdom | Tagged , , | 16 Comments

Summer Saturday 1969 When I was Nine

Cartoons with cereal
Captain Crunch with Scooby-Doo
on the black and white TV.

Pink Panther, Bugs Bunny and Casper the Ghost
until mother announced that it was time
to put on clothes.

The Tony the Tiger bowl, spoon and cup I saved for and bought,
carefully put in the sink.

I saw the ad on a box of Frosted Flakes,
brother helped me fill out the card,
Mother gave me the stamp, the envelope …

A long six weeks and daily disappointment.
Then joy and a prized possession
Sometimes I put the spoon at my dad’s place at dinner.

Jeans bought last September, now cutoff shorts,
and a white tee-shirt were the uniform.
No need for shoes.

At Bob’s house were the Matchbox cars, kids and dog.
Bob’s older brothers had a record player and all the Beatles albums 
we’d listen to Yellow Submarine and Sgt. Pepper as we raced little cars around the room.

Dave had a transistor radio that played
Steppenwolf, Three Dog Night, and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

My older brother had a radio in our garage
sometimes he’d let us listen as he worked on his train set and slot cars.
We’d crawl on the big table made of plywood and setup track for him.
Sometimes he’d let us run the train - until we made it go too fast and broke the engine.

That song still haunts my memory,
In The Ghetto, Elvis’ voice,
but not his usual style,
it moved me, confused me, and friends didn’t understand the sadness I thought I felt.

The Tonka trucks were in my backyard
in the dirt,
near mud,
piled with sticks and rocks.

Three of us were there when mother called me in for lunch.
Baloney sandwiches with Kool-Aid.
We all got sandwiches.

Then Bob said his mother was making peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches
We got milk with those.
Dave’s mother was on to us, so we only got apple slices there.

The late afternoon shade spread across the lawn
where we’d jumped off our bikes and rest from the afternoon heat.

From the house came the sound of a piano.
My mother, practicing for a concert she never gave.
We were her only audience as she played,
Clair de Lune

Haunting
Demanding
Pulling
Flowing

One by one the dinner call came
for those lost and precocious times.
Posted in General, Mother, Poems | Tagged , , , | 33 Comments