Friday Wisdom – Cabinets

This week I had some cabinets delivered for my workshop so here’s a few cabinet thoughts:

Early in my career I had a job selling file cabinets, labels makers, file folders and rolodexes to mafia offices – yeah, I was involved in organized crime.

Be very careful when opening up your medicine cabinet – you don’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

Did you hear about the man who died after his trophy cabinet fell on him? He was a victim of his own success.

Do you know why police departments have so many file cabinets? They’re for organized crime.

I found some fake noodles in a kitchen cupboard – it was an impasta.

My father used to say, “when one door closes, another will open.” Yes, he was terrible at making cabinets.

I will say that I had my doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with locking doors, but it proved to be a safe purchase.

I just saw a broken cabinet at the library looking for shelf-help books.

A buddy of mine use to install kitchen work surfaces, but he got arrested for counter fitting.

Did you hear that the PM meeting with the cabinet? Later he spoke to a bookcase and had an argument with a desk.

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden – he said he’ll have his cabinet assembled by the end of the week.

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Wednesday Work – of Quilts and Shops

Yeah, it’s really Thursday but when you’re retired the months kind of merge together. Currently my time keeping is more like: breakfast time, tea time, dinner time, and not a good time to be out driving to the store time.

Last Friday Heather and I attended the church’s quilting group. It’s not a formal kind of group, they just get together once a month in the social hall and everyone brings a project along to work on. I was able to take advantage of the large tables to do the pinning on my quilt. This step pins the batting, top and backing together. Next step will be doing the actual machine quilting to sew all three layers together. I didn’t do much on the quilt over the summer as there was a lot of work to do outside, but now that winter is settling it, there will be more indoor time to work on things like quilts.

The pinned up quilt. Next step is the quilting process. Coffee is a necessary supply for quilt pinning – in fact I should have bought the larger size.
Close up of the pinning for the quilt. My fingers hurt just thinking about putting those all in.

On the woodworking shop shed, I finished installing the floor and baseboards in the shed shop and have started moving stuff in. I also started unboxing tools and projects. I’m hoping to get a couple of Christmas decoration projects done on the scroll saw and get started on some projects for my sewing room.

Here’s the current progress (still a mess):

Moving in. Two racks setup, some projects unboxed and for those concerned about safety, that’s one of two fire extinguishers I have for the shed. Now the idea is to never need them, but I do have two just in case.

The shed shop is for small projects – mostly scroll saw and marquetry work so the real workhorse in here is the scroll saw:

The scroll saw and marquetry bench in place and almost ready to work. Yes, that’s a frying pan on a hot plate. It’s not for lunches – the pan is filled with sand and is used for sand shading veneer.

I set these up so I’ll have a view of the garden when I’m working. This space is heated so I can work in here over the winter.

In the garage shop, or what I’m starting to call my heavy tool shop, I’ve moved enough stuff out to the shed so I have room to move:

Here’s the progress on the garage workshop. There is now real room to move around. The table saw asked for the hat, it said it liked the hat and thought it would look good wearing it … I never argue with table saws …

This space will have my larger, duster machines like the table saw, planner, jointer, sanders and router table. I’ve got dust collection in here. It’s harder to heat this space so I expect there will be winter days I can’t work out here. This is where I’ll be doing larger work like cabinets or anything that needs the table saw. The idea is that most of my machines will be on carts so I can pull out the machine I’m working with to the center area. It’s a long narrow space so it’s a bit of a challenge to figure out where to store things and how to get the machines setup. Now that I’ve freed up some space, I can really get started on setting this up.

That’s it for this week – if you need me, I’ll be in the shop(s).

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Hybrid

Editor Note: I wrote the follow for the monthly writers group at the church. Each month we’re given a prompt to write about. This month the prompt is, “hybrid,” which caused me to write the following note to the group:

I’ve spent most of my writing time this month just trying to figure out what to write about the prompt, “Hybrid.”

If you over think it, there are a million or so interesting ways to go here.  There are hybrid flowers, that is flowers cross pollinated from two different varieties to produce a new variety The process is called hybridization.  Interestingly you can spell hybridization with either a “z” or an “s”.  For you in the commonwealth that would be either a “zed” or an “s”. 

Interestingly, the word hybrid can be used as either noun or adjective. For example in the noun form you would say, “a hybrid of two roses,” while in the adjective form you could say, “a hybrid rose.” Yes, they’re the same thing, but some people are into nouns and some adjectives.  It’s all part of being a free country and creating as much confusion as possible.

You can use hybrid to describe people, but when you look at the synonyms and antonyms for this usage you find yourself on dangerous politically incorrect ground.  I’m not planning on engaging in a scholarly work on Postcolonial Literary or Critical Theory, so I’ll just give that a skip.

When I was working in electronics we did have hybrid electrical circuits and systems.  Perhaps the most common modern example would be the hybrid car.  In this case hybrid refers to two different parts doing about the same thing.  A hybrid car can be powered by either an electric generator or a battery.  Both generator and battery provide power and using both makes it a hybrid. Electronic circuits can also be hybrid – in fact most electronics can be describe as a hybrid of both individual devices such as resistors and diodes and integrated circuits such as the 555 timer chip. Doesn’t seem like the thing that would have a wide audience appeal.

I did think that hybrid could be applied to arts and crafts.  There is a book out titled, “Hybrid Woodworking” by Marc Spagnuolo in which he describes how to use both power and hand tools in woodworking.  If you’ve ever met woodworkers you’ll find two camps – hand tool users and power tool users.  Rarely do the two camps meet, much less agree on the “correct” way of doing things.  And I’m not talking about woodturners here – they have a completely different view of the world that involves shoving sharp steel tools into rapidly spinning wood.

In terms of art the closest I’ve seen to a hybrid artist is what is called a multimedia artist, that is a person who uses many different things – say paint, fabric and wire to create art objects.  My problem here is that in general hybrid refers to combining two things to make one.  I did a lot of googling here (okay, three searches), and could not find a reference to a hybrid being composed of more than two things.  Sudden it seems like such a limited word.

Which naturally started me thinking about bipeds.  You know those things that walk on two legs.  Of course there are quadrupeds, like horse, dogs, cats and lizards, which are more common in nature.  That does bring up the case of primates – perhaps they could be called hybrid-peds as some primates can walk on two legs or four depending on what they’re doing. 

At one point I did mistype “biped” as “bipod” and ended up on a gun store’s website.  It’s amazing the number of firearms that have a bipod.  Tripods are generally used for cameras and quadrupod is a method for holding a pencil.  Speaking of cameras, a monopod is another stick that can be use with a camera, but when I found an ad for a monopod that had three little legs at the bottom (a mono-mini-tripod?) I gave up on the whole research thing.

So, I’m sad to report that I’ve failed to come up with anything to write about this month. 

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Friday Wisdom – Medical

This week I went in for routine blood tests so naturally the medical world is on my mind.

According to my doctor 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

The nurse told me this great amnesia joke, but I can’t remember it.

I drove past the rehab clinic and there was a sign on the lawn, “Keep off the Grass.”

They wheeled her into the operating room, and then she had a change of heart.

People who don’t find jokes funny are suffering from irony deficiency.

Bad timing defined: having a heart attack during a game of charades.

Did you hear about the book that went to a doctor? It had a broken spine.

The medical student made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.

I lied to the X-ray technician, but she could see right through me.

I called my doctor and said that I feel run down. She asked why and I said, “Because of the tire tracks on my legs.”

I told my doctor that I thought my hair was thinning. “Good,” he replied, “No one wants fat hair.”

They said that jogging could add years to my life. So I started jogging and they’re right – I feel ten years older already.

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