Friday Wisdom – Medical

Posted on 10/15/2021 by Andrew Reynolds

This week I went in for routine blood tests so naturally the medical world is on my mind.

According to my doctor 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.

The nurse told me this great amnesia joke, but I can’t remember it.

I drove past the rehab clinic and there was a sign on the lawn, “Keep off the Grass.”

They wheeled her into the operating room, and then she had a change of heart.

People who don’t find jokes funny are suffering from irony deficiency.

Bad timing defined: having a heart attack during a game of charades.

Did you hear about the book that went to a doctor? It had a broken spine.

The medical student made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.

I lied to the X-ray technician, but she could see right through me.

I called my doctor and said that I feel run down. She asked why and I said, “Because of the tire tracks on my legs.”

I told my doctor that I thought my hair was thinning. “Good,” he replied, “No one wants fat hair.”

They said that jogging could add years to my life. So I started jogging and they’re right – I feel ten years older already.

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Wednesday Working – Flooring and Backache

Posted on 10/13/2021 by Andrew Reynolds

With the underlayment down I turned to putting down the vinyl titles and all that bending is making for a backache. The titles are 12 inch squares of the “peel and stick” kind. You layout a grid on the floor using a chalk line and try your best to keep everything lined up. On the edges, I have to cut the titles to fit. This sounded easy, but it’s fiddly work. The cutting is done with a straight edge and a utility knife. The vinyl is tough stuff and dulls the blades quickly. I’ve been changing blades about every five titles.

I expect to be done with title installation tomorrow and then I’ll install the baseboards. Once that is done, I can start moving equipment in. Hopefully I’ll be at the scroll saw cutting things in a week or so.

Most of the floor done. The edges require cutting the titles, which is a real pain. It’s also cold out here (high’s in the 40s Fahrenheit), hence the two space heaters. The wood on the floor is the baseboards.

That’s it for this week – if you need me, I’m looking for my heating pad.

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Friday Wisdom – Banks

Posted on 10/08/2021 by Andrew Reynolds

I went to the bank today so naturally you get banking jokes:

My father told me to save until my bank balance looks like a telephone number. I now have $9.11 (that would be £9.99 for you UK bunch).

It was raining money today – yup, we had change in the weather.

Why did the bank buy a cow? To beef up security.

If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?

Did you read about the naked bank robber? No one could remember his face.

If you don’t think the bank cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

So, money doesn’t grow on trees … why do banks have branches?

Rivers are so rich that they have two banks.

I got a great compliment from the bank, they said my loan was outstanding.

My banker said to put something away for a rainy day. I already have an umbrella …

Did you hear about the banker who had to retire? He was riding his bike and lost his balance.

Let me tell you, his credit was so bad that the bank wouldn’t even lend him a pen to fill out the loan application.

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Wednesday Working – Painting and Underlayment

Posted on 10/06/2021 by Andrew Reynolds

This week I finished painting the inside of the shop shed:

Underlayment down and ready for the vinyl tiles.

Not the greatest paint job, but it’s a workshop, not a work of art. Art might come out of the shop, but the color of the walls isn’t likely to affect the quality of the work. The floor is going to be a white vinyl title. That requires a little prep work so I had to put down a plywood underlayment for the tiles to stick too. The floor the shed came with wasn’t suitable for these self sticking titles so I had to lay down this 1/4 inch plywood stuff for the tiles to stick to.

I had to bring out my almost all purpose tool cart for the job:

The top deck is the miter saw, but I didn’t use that for the floor. Ah, there’s my tape measure.

It’s a thing I made out of recycled plywood from an old bookcase. Most of the time I just use the miter saw that’s buried under a power cord and other junk right now, but it also houses my air tools and compressor.

The compressor – oh look, that’s where my nail gun got to!

The compressor is below and being inside the cabinet reduces the noise just a bit.

My air tool collection.

On the other side are some shelves for air tools and supplies. I really wanted to get the underlayment down today because the weather forecast is showing that our warm weather is coming to an end this weekend and working outside might colder and possibly wetter. With the underlayment in, putting the titles in place can all be down inside and out of the weather and with the help of this thing, warmer too:

Soon, I’m going to need this to work in the shed shop.

The next step is getting out the chalk line and laying out the lines for the title installation. These are the titles I chose.

The vinyl titles for the flooring. Let me tell you, those things are heavy.

Yeah, more white. My eyes are getting old and I need all the light I can get and the white helps reflect more light. Once the titles are down, I can start moving tools in and getting to work on other projects.

If you need me, I’ll be in the shed.

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